Coming to the realization we need help is a powerful force for change. The day I realized it, I was living with a dreamy looking guy who hated women, hated me, and was wanted by the FBI. I'd thought about killing him before he killed me. But on that day, my biggest concern was the Big Dipper. It was upside down and I remember thinking that either the natural order of the universe had been upset or the problem was .... me. I called the cops! I told them about the Big Dipper, the spaceships, my relationship and living situation. And remarkably they responded. They took me to a local clinic and, after a short period of calmly reading a book, I realized my old life was over for good. I screamed for help.
Two weeks later, I was out of the psychiatric ward, living at home in Virginia, and heading off to my first appointment with a psychiatrist in D.C. Without others' kindness, my scream for help would have never been heard. Without my scream for help, a second chance at life would have been impossible. I didn't know it then but the night sky had spoken, the Big Dipper was back in its place, and the road to healing was around the corner.
In my book, "Mercy, Lord, Mercy," as Eileen, the heroine, starts her therapy and healing, she recounts the following:
The door opened and there was a little old man
I almost forgot my plan, I almost ran.
I would like to get well, but what the hell.
This is too scary!
If I want to fly and not to die
I have to stay, not run away
I was in ......
Ziggy's room .....
It was dreary, dreary day
In the merry, merry month of May
My mind had been very, very far away.
I was sick and cold
Not too terribly, terribly old
Into the hospital I did go
What would happen I did not know.
I spent two weeks in the psychiatric ward
I had been sent there by the Lord.
Doctor Sung was my 'doc'
Schizophrenia gave me quite a shock.
When I got out he recommended
So one find day in June of 1974
I dragged myself through Ziggy's door
I was skinny and my hair was a mess
I was dressed in a pant suit not a dress.
I had made it myself.
It was blue
I was too.
Ziggy was sitting there
Quite and peaceful in his leather chair.
He had white and wild hair
Me, he did not scar.
I knew he needed to hear the truth
I was living proof
Of the deadly effects of
sickness of the mind,
Ziggy and Doctor Sung were kind...